Wow - It's Been That Long

Over a month has passed since my last post! Time is going by so quick, sometimes you don't even realize how quick.

I noticed that a few of my favorite blogs have slowed down too. Is there something in the air that we're breathing, or something in the water we're drinking? Mine is a combination of things. Most of all missing Leo. Along with some middle age crap in the mix.

I always thought about what it was going to be like the day I would be 'babie-less'. I never imagined how hard it would be to come home to an empty house, to sit in an empty chair, to go to bed to an empty and cold bed. I thought about all the things I would do once I had some 'freedom'. Yeah, right. Who was I kidding? I haven't done diddly squat yet. Because I just don't want to, just don't feel like it, just don't want to deal with people - at all. My crocheting hasn't been a whole lot. I'm so far behind the eight ball I can't see around it. And ya know what? At this point I really don't care. My intentions are good but the actuality falls way short. I don't know what I need but clearly it's something to pull me out of this black hole I've fallen in and don't care if I ever get out again. I'm serious, my attitude right now is awful.

I've also found out that some of my so called 'friends' are not really who I thought they were. This realization is hard to swallow for me because I don't have a lot of close friends. And a few have disappointed me really bad in the last couple of months. I'm the type of friend you'd want. I'm loyal, loving, very giving and have your back when no one else does. But I'm also the type that has a hard time with forgiveness too.

I am leaving in the morning to head to NC to have Thanksgiving with family. First time in over 14 years that I've had a family Thanksgiving. I'm apprehensive about it but in a way looking forward to it. I'm hoping it's going to turn out good. But with my current attitude I'm a little bit pessimistic about it. I know there will be some tears.......probably more than some, probably a lot. And on my part too. I'm hoping to come home with a better attitude but there again, we'll see.

I sometimes feel like I'm all alone in this world with these feelings I have. There's a lot you don't know and I don't care to go into them because I'd be here for a very long time and you'd probably have to get up from your computer shaking your head. I'm sure I'm not the only one with these feelings but it sure feels like it. I know that I have a lot more and am a lot better off than a lot of people right now and that is humbling. But the other creeps back in and takes over. The hooks are deep.

I've lost over 20 pounds, and that in itself is a good thing, because I needed to but not like this, and not because of what's going on, or not going on, in my life. Sigh...........

May your holiday be one of love, laughter and warmth. I'll see you on the other side. Be safe!

TTFN
Kat
xoxo

Kylie's Bag

I managed to finish Kylie's bag. Only because I pushed myself because I ran out of time. I hope she likes it.

Happy Friday Eve!

TTFN
Kat
xoxo

Grandpa's Afghan

While cleaning out a bunch of stuff last week I finally found the box that contained grandpa's afghan with others. I put them out on the line to air out and then washed them. I don't know who crocheted the others but I really love the yellow/orange/brown ripple. It's so soft and pretty. And although it's pretty, it doesn't compare to grandpa's (in my mind). I'm partial to it because other than a 1927 silver dollar and Kennedy half dollar that he gave me when I was young, this is all I have left of him. His is the multi colored squares. The picture doesn't do any of them justice, as usual.

This week I have made myself sit down and try to crochet. Other than finishing Kylie's bag for her birthday, I really am at a loss on what to do. Christmas crochet has yet to start. And I'm feeling bad about that because we have less than 70 days left. I'm just not motivated and interested in it. I better figure out something quick though.

Happy Hump Day....may you have no problem getting over the hump to the downhill slide.

TTFN
Kat
xoxo

Under Construction

Please excuse my mess as I try to reconstruct my new place. It's pretty ugly right now. I'll get it.....eventually. :o)  I'm having a little bit of a time with it. This new blogger is hard to get used to. I did get the follow button added. I'm out of time for right now. But I'llllllll be back. :o)

New Day, New Blog

Hello!

It's been over a week since my last precious boy left me for Rainbow Bridge. I miss him so much. I've been trying to create a life without babies and it's been so weird. I've had babies since 1996 and it will be quite a while before I have any more babies.  I have to tell you that I am still trying to deal with it. My hardest times are morning, evening, going to bed, being in the kitchen, crocheting, leaving home and coming home. I didn't want to be home, but I didn't want to be anywhere else. It all has to do with our routines. Now I have to make new routines. For me. And one thing that still reminds me but I can't do anything about it right now because I just don't want to. Remember I told you a while back that Leo wasn't drinking the whole day I was gone to work? Welllllllll.......what a little booger he was. I discovered one Saturday that he had his own little drinking fountain that he didn't tell me about. I had gone to the store and come home and he was at the fence with his head down. He never heard me or saw me coming. I wondered, what the heck is he doing? So I park, get out of the car and look through the fence and lo and behold, the hose has a hole in it and it's spouting out like a little fountain for him and he's happily lapping it up. I didn't noticed it before and don't know how long it was there for him to use. (Shows how observant I am sometimes huh?)  And never saw him there drinking from it until then. It's a pin hole but big enough that it spouted enough water for him to drink. I can't fix it. Every time I walk by it I think of him. I just can't fix it right now. I'm getting ready to turn the water off for the winter and coil up the hose so I will fix it in the spring.

I had all week to think about what I wanted to do with the blog. I seriously considered not blogging anymore, but I have made some very valued 'bloggy' friends here, who are very special to me. Although my life has been busy lately I still manage to check in with a lot of my blogging buddies and post every so often to try to stay in the loop. I hope if you followed me before on Hookin' It, that you will follow me here. If not, that's ok too. We all have our lives and things change. If there's one thing you can count on in life, it's change.

This blog will be a lot like the old one, just that the characters have changed.  Mr. Lick Lick is gone and I am just me now. I appreciate all of the comments on my last post on Hookin' It, I love you all. You are such caring and compassionate people and I find that I need you in my life, even though it's in the bloggy world. Most of you have gone down the same path so you can relate.  And the support I get from people I've never met in real life is awesome!
So, my week off, from work and the world, basically was a very busy one. I made myself stay busy. I worked both inside and outside the house. I got rid of a lot of stuff. And shifted stuff. And burned stuff in my burn barrell, you know, like old bills and bank statements, stuff like that. The quietness of where I live was what I needed so bad. Only the birds, owls, airplanes and the usual country sounds. The weather was gorgeous all week. I haven't had my a/c on in two weeks now and don't intend to turn it back on. Heat will be the next order of business.

Matter of fact I wanted to change out the filter in my a/c unit and when I opened it up yesterday the filter had collapsed. I tried to save a few bucks and look what it got me. So I had to run to the store and bought a 3M 3 month filter that I know won't collapse.

I told you last that I was heading out on the bike. I wanted to head to the mountains to see the foliage but the first two days were rain. I don't mind riding in the rain if I'm out and it comes up. But if I know it's coming, and I'm going to be somewhere where I don't know the roads then no, I'm not. I did ride my bike some while off. The two cloud pictures below I took on the first Sunday afternoon on my way home from being out and about. I saw it and was wowed by it. Of course the pictures don't do it justice. But I realized I had a slim chance of getting it because the sun was going down. So after I initially saw it I didn't have another chance to stop to snap a pic of it for about 4 miles. Then I took these. See the quick difference in them? After taking these I went down the road 2 miles and the sun was gone down and the cloud was gray.

I don't normally cook for myself, it's only me after all. But I happened to find this recipe on the back of the garbanzo bean can and OMG. I love it. I made it twice. I ate the first batch and decided to make another to bring to work for lunches. It's easy peasy! Add some buttered bread or corn bread and voila! It's quick too.

1 lb. ground italian sausage

onion - I used the dried onion flakes, bunches :o)

1/2 green bell pepper cut up into small pieces(wasn't in the orignal recipe...I added them in)

1 can Bush garbanzo beans (or chic peas)

1 can diced tomatoes

Cook the sausage up with the onion and bell pepper. Drain if you prefer. I didn't have much grease in mine so I left it in the pan. Drain and rinse the garbanzo's and add to the sausage mix. Add the can of diced tomatoes and a half a can of water. Cook until heated and serve! I let mine sit on the stove for a while on 3 and cook.  You could probably add a little more water for a more soupy like mixture. Either way it is AWESOME! :o)

Ok. I've been jawing too long. Just wanted to let you know I'm back with a different name. My boy is gone so it's only fitting that I let the blog go too and start anew. I didn't delete it so that I can go back for visits and to try to get all of the blogs I read over here. What a chore that's going to be!

So.......I hope this finds you well, happy and loved. May your tomorrow be better than today.

TTFN
Kat
xoxo