You know about Leo and how hard that has affected my life. It's so hard losing your babies, especially when they are your whole life. I am getting better but he is never far from my thoughts and I think of him quite frequently. And the strangest thing happened a week ago today. I was off from work for over a week for the holidays. One night I went over to a friend's house to eat dinner with her and her mother that was down from Illinois and her boyfriend, and then we all went to a bike night at one of the local watering holes. This is not a normal thing for me to do. And that's mostly due to the fact that I go to bed early and get up early for work. I am such a hermit and home body. But she talked me into it. So I got home around 10ish and Leo's light was still lit. Normally it's out by this time. So I go in the house and my new little friend Hector the Defector (more to come on him) makes his way in the door before I can stop him. So I text my friend to let her know that I made it home ok and go to put Hector out and Leo's light is out. I can't help but think he left it on for me until I got home. It's a solar light that doesn't get a lot of direct sunlight but enough that it lasts a couple of hours after dark. Like I said, it's never on that late at night. (Look at Hector's pic below...see in the background the stones and lights? That is where all three of my babies are buried. Leo's light is the middle one, the brightest of all 3.)
So about Hector the defector. He is a kitty from, I'm assuming, next door. They have a crap load of cats and I'm pretty sure Hector is a large part of the reason because he has his two little man-friends, if you get my drift. Hector has adopted me as his human I think. I've been feeding him and he really loves me. I believe that in the future I will be taking him to have his two little man-friends disposed of because we don't need any more ferals in the neighborhood. I'm just afraid that the neighbor will complain, although I could plead dumb and just say he showed up on my doorstep, which really is the truth as far as I know it. Can she seriously do anything about me getting her cat fixed? There's a place in SC, just over the boarder, called SNAC that is way cheaper than a vet for getting spay/neuters done.
They're not Leo nor the companionship that I am used to but they will work in the interim of me working my bucket list off.
I had a scare back in the beginning of November. I am not real big about mammograms and that all goes back to my mother and her death. But the insurance company was sneaky and called me at work wanting to know when was I going to schedule my mammogram. And I knew I had wellness stuff to take care of too because plans were changing at the beginning of the year. So I scheduled one. Well I got a call a few days after the original mammo. They found something in both breasts, I needed to come back in and have more tests done. Alrighty then. When I got in there they showed me my scans from the first go around. The one in the left they were not too concerned about, it was more than likely calcification, it looked white and spidery. But the one in the right was a lump that was way deep and they needed better pics of it. So I had a few more scans done and waited. Then they called me back and said they needed to do an ultra sound. Ok, this is getting serious now. So they did an ultrasound and found that they needed to do a biopsy. At this point I am in tears. So I tell them my ordeal with my mother and why I have the attitude I do and maybe it's not the right attitude but it's mine, nonetheless. I scheduled a biopsy three days later. OMG what an experience. The lump was way back behind my nipple almost to my chest wall. It was hard for them to find it because it was so deep but once she found it she took three pieces of it for testing. She left a titanium clip in place of where the lump was located for two reasons.....so that they could find it again should it need to come out and if it didn't need to come out then it would show up in future mammo's to show that it had already been looked at. I had already decided that if it was malignant that I was going to have a double mastectomy. I have double d's and have been single for over 13 years and at my age I am really tired of carrying those bad girls around. I was upset but at the same time resigned because there wasn't much I could do except take them off if the test came back malignant. The doc told me 3 days for the results. The biopsy was on a Thursday and I would have to wait over the weekend to hear. Talk about pins and needles. Friday I was at lunch and my phone rang. It was the doc, the lump was benign, a fibroadenoma. This is what webmd says about them:
Obviously I am one of the exceptions to the rule. I am 55 and white. While I am an exception, I am one happy exception. OMG.
Let's see, what else. Oh yeah........there's talk again about my job ending, in the next two years. Ya know what? I am not going to worry about it. There's nothing I can do except try to prepare for it. Seems it might come to fruition this time. Everything I've seen and heard points to it. All I can do is try to get what I owe paid off and try to stash some cash. Not easy in these times we live in today, especially since our government insists they need more of our money. And I'm not even going to go there right now. I just don't know how those idiots can sleep at night. I was sick when I heard about all of the earmarks after they averted the fiscal cliff. I knew it was too good to be true.
So on to other things. I was sick Christmas eve, with some stomach bug thing while I was in FL. And then I came back home Christmas day and on Friday got a real bad sore throat, that lasted into Saturday and I decided then that I needed meds because it was going to only get worse. Yep, it did. Not the flu but a very bad cold. I was in my chair from Saturday afternoon to Tuesday evening, in my jammies, taking meds, sick as a dog, watching non-stop Sons of Anarchy cd's. 16 total - 4 whole seasons. My list of meds included GrapeFruit Airborne, Zicam tab, Nyquil, Mucinex DM. I discovered that the Mucinex DM was not good for me, it caused my heart rate to skyrocket, almost beating out of my chest. Or so it seemed. I threw it in the trash. Tuesday I ran a low grade fever. Wednesday I had to come back to work and I was not feeling well at all but had no choice. Today I am dizzy from all the congestion in my head and coughing but I'm feeling better. I am going to run to CVS today and get a humidifier. I'm hoping it will help.
One good thing happened. Well, it lifted up my spirits anyways. I entered on the Sugarland site for participation in a song and wrote a verse that they accepted. Talk about cool! I found out about them accepting it Christmas eve when I was sick. You can find it here. Mine is the verse about the big dimple on his cheek. :o) I actually found it originally because I'm a fan on FB of Sugarland. I so love Jennifer's voice and am so envious that I can't produce a sound even close to her's. We will not even go there ok? :o)
So the rest is some of the crochet I finished, some I started and finished and all were presents. You may have seen a couple of these before when they were in the wip stages.
A dish towel for my daughter. My very first attempt. The pic doesn't do it justice. The top is a lovely hunter greeen.
A pillow for my daughter. The other side was different because of how the coloring started in the next skein. It took 3 skeins for this 16x16 pillow. This is Psychedelic Mosaic yarn from Bernat. I used big colored buttons but afraid I didn't get a pic of them. She loved it.
My favorite color of all the hats. Blue Hawaii and Black - both Red Heart. The Blue Hawaii is the With Love brand. Such a pretty color. Striking I guess you could say.
So that's about it for me. I know I've forgotten some things but I've run out of time. I'm sorry it's been a long time, I just haven't had the motivation. I sure hope this new year brings about better things for me. I'm ready.
May the sun forever shine down on you with more than enough light to see your way.